Mujer Activists are Not Protest Backdrops: A Reflection on Machismo in Activism

6/28/20

I have learned so much and unfortunately have lived this for too many years. The wisdom life has given me allowed me to denounce and break free from the emotional and activist purist loyalty that left me feeling angry and exploited. I read about the exclusion and devaluing of womxn/femme activists within the Chicana/o movement and never imagined that i would be facing the same struggles 20 years later. Since the age of 15, when i began my decolonial journey i had to fight for my own ground and fight back from constantly being policed, gaslighted, harassed, and belittled by "woke" warriors who masked their machismo under "militancy." Year after year i had to constantly push back from being ascribed "nurturing" and "secretarial" tasks. The worst was seeing how each new member normalized machismo and always failed to do the labor of contributing to the work that i was always EXPECTED TO DO. * fundraising

* public relations

* permits and city communications

*press releases

* food and beverage prep

And above all this, policed about how to dress and speak.

Policed about who to date and my financial issues. I was hypersexualized as a minor while grown adult men were excused for their sexual harrasment because i was told "deep down they are good men" and threatenned to revoke membership if i took legal actions.

Year after year, i fought back. Tried to change things because i was convinced that this was the "only organization" that could truly bring about our liberation. Bullshit. Yes. I was a member of the Mexica Movement for 20 years and finally left along with 5 other members who could no longer be silent and controlled by a fake failed catholic priest-turned-wanna-be-Mexica-priest. Although all of this has been expressed by many of us in long and thorough statements, i find myself witnessing outbursts of machismo in many circles and as a survivor of machista activism, i feel the obligation to share my truth. Too many of us, womxn/femmes/cihuah continue to battle the violence of this colonial/patriarkkkal practice and i have personally witnessed how many of us end up emotionally exhausted and demoralized.May we all find our way back to our ancestral ways.Blessings.There is no room for machismo in our liberation struggle.